#did u miss me tumblr. this is what you get when i actually log into this account

[yangjeongin]

sometimes i really do just think about that interview skz did with tumblr and the fact that they know tumblr exists and the mass twitter exodus to tumblr and i look at my posts like

[mybrainsrottingwithmcd]

hi!! so i’m. really really new to the aphmau fandom, aka i was super into it when i was like 8 and now my autistic ass got back into and actually joined in fandom stuff

i don’t. entirely understand how to guide through the aphmau fandom on tumblr. and i have a few questions- if you wouldn’t find can you answer them for me since you seem to be super into this!

what is an MCD rewrite and where do i find them- i assumed it’s people rewriting minecraft diaries but what sparked this and why?

what’s with the hate for aaron and aarmau- i don’t. fully understand it

how did garroth/lawrence happen (i love the idea)

is there like. a masterlist of aphmau lore somewhere so i can make sure i didn’t miss anything in my rewatch (i definitely missed stuff in my rewatch)

Hello hello!! Welcome to the fandom (we’re so sorry ur here its a mess)

I’d be happy to answer ur questions :D

“what is an MCD rewrite and where do i find them- i assumed it's people rewriting minecraft diaries but what sparked this and why?”

Yeah you’re right a MCD rewrite is people rewriting MCD and adding their own ships or improvements or different plot points. It started because the original MCD is kinda written poorly. Some plot points go nowhere, some parts are problematic, some parts drag on, characters appear and disappear, characters stopped developing and most importantly MCD has no ending and was abruptly discontinued by Jess so she could focus on Mystreet and other projects. People just wanna improve and finish the thing that means so mich to them basically. You can find them on AO3 and a few on Wattpad (I recommend AO3 tho its easier to find rewrites ur interested in cuz the tag system)

“what's with the hate for aaron and aarmau- i don't. fully understand it”

(There arent enough words in this world to explain my hatred for aarmau and aaron BUT)

Many reasons heres the main few: when Aaron was introduced he was supposed to be a side character but then he became a love interest kinda outta nowhere (my theory as to why is because Jess’s husband Jason voices him) and when he did become a love interest other characters like Laurence and Garroth kinda stopped developing and became worse to justify why Aaron was a good choice for Aphmau. For me they never had any chemistry in MCD, when its revealed Aphmau is pregnant with Aaron’s kid my brain logged out because wtffff how did they find the time and also why Aaron ://. He wasn’t kinda boring, his angsty past could’ve been used more but wasn’t he was just a brooding masked figure who followed Aphmau around. Then Pheonix Drop High happened and made things really weird. So when Aaron was 18 going on 19 he started dating Aphmau who was 14. Very creepy much yuck, they didn’t communicate well and then his whole character became that he’s in love with Aphmau but “he’s just not good enough for her :((“ and “i shouldn’t be with her shes perfect” and personally i find romance dramas infuriating, especially that kind of drama. AND YES AS A 18YR OLD U SHOULDNT BE DATING A 14YR OLD WELL DONE AARON. Mystreet they were the annoying lovey dovey couple with relationship drama they just rubbed me the wrong way in that series, I stopped watching after Emerald Secret and only recently forced myself to finish Mystreet and yeah no idc about them or their relationship. In MCD season 3 when Shad was introduced as a full character his whole thing is he’s Aaron again but evil and Aphmau’s sad about it and uuuuugg i dont caaareee. And I personally thought Aphmau wasn’t gunna end with anyone in MCD because she went on multiple rants about how that isn’t what she’s looking for and she has to think about her people first and she prefers her own company and then BOOM gets pregnant of masky mcsad face. Ugh. Basically Aaron ruined everything.

(Aroacemau truther 4 life aarmau hater 4 life)

“how did garroth/lawrence happen (i love the idea)”

Garrence has been a ship since the characters were introduced and quite simply its because they have more chemistry together than with Aphmau. I’ve always been a lil uncomfortable with how Jess wrote Laurence and Aphmau’s interactions and Garroth and Aphmau’s interactions but Garroth and Laurence interactions were just more natural they had more banter they were sweet together. Then Jess did a bunch of queerbaiting with it and the ship got bigger, so many fanarts so many fanfics. Then it just never happened because Jess is a coward. Like it would’ve been so nice to see the hints and chemistry go somewhere but it didn’t. Everyone still holds hope tho. With rewrites Garrence is Canon :))

“is there like. a masterlist of aphmau lore somewhere so i can make sure i didn't miss anything in my rewatch (i definitely missed stuff in my rewatch)”

i have no idea on that one, i’ve rewatched MCD every other week for the past 8 years (autism go brrrrr) i’ve never had to look for a masterlist of lore BUT I’m sure someone has to have compiled one somewhere either on the fandom wiki or on Tumblr somewhere. :))

ANYWAYS YEAH WELCOME TO HELL HAVE FUN HERE

[rosebury-archives]

CalmWriMo 2023 Wrap Up!

It is done! It has been done for like four days! IT IS DONE!

I have taken part in @winterandwords' CalmWriMo, here's my goals and how I did!

At the start of November, I sat on 81450 Words for my project To Put On An Act. My current word count is 111793 Words!!!!! WHAAAAT!!!!!! It's safe to say that I reached my writing goal! But what else did I do?

Get to Chapter 16 OR write 30k words - safe to say that I reached both of these goals! I'm currently working on Chapter 18, and I've written 30343 words. Yippie!

Plan later chapters post breakup - eh. I collected some ideas and have a rough plan but there's still some proper outlining missing. I do have a little bit of a better picture now though!

Post progess more frequently - This worked semi well? I would've loved to post more logs to be honest but. Oh well. I did post a couple logs though, and I want to try to make this a habit, maybe to at least yell on here once a week (if I do happen to write that week of course).

Make some Moodboards - I did that! I've not posted them here yet but I did make some little moodboards for a bunch of the characters :)

Make an intro post for this account - did that as well! Yippiee!

Plan for another mysterious project - heheheheheheeheheheh >;)

Now the other, just as important part of CalmWriMo, the Calm. I was not as calm as I should've been. Let's see. What's the goals.

Get more sleep - ahahah. uuh. ahhahehheah. hm. well. let's move on.

Be less anxious/worried about What The World Thinks Of Me - hm. Well. Well? I mean I guess. I think it's fine. I still think every single person in the world is better than me but it's okayyyy I'm alive what more do I want.

KILLING THE CRINGE - happy to report that the cringe dies again every day

Read More - OOOOHHHH LOOK SOMETHING I DID!!! Listened to my audiobook in the beginning of November, however, I did not finish it. Oh well! Instead I did some reading of fellow writers on Wattpad. Some of these really are the most written stories of all time, but there are some real gems hidden in there that I can learn from. Also great for networking [wink]

Less Stress about posting - no stress at all I Am So Calm. I actually caught up to my posting schedule! I took it slow and posted every two weeks to give myself some time, and now I can go back to my regular weekly schedule! I think it's fine. i think I'm fine. I can post when I want and do what I want.

ALL IN ALL! THIS WAS GREAT!!! THIS WAS GENUINELY SO GREAT!!!! I'm really proud of myself and what I did this past month, I got a lot done, I feel motivated, I feel excited! I can't believe I've already hit over 100k words, and at this point I have no idea when this will end, but I'm just really excited to see what the future will hold for TPOAA.

Having a goal for the month really did help me to get a gentle kick in the ass and to sit down and write. I was writing an average of 2k words a day and I hope to kind of keep that even if I don't have a goal set for the month.

If it wasn't for my incredibly draining job, I probably would've been able to hit an even higher word goal, but I genuinely think this was the best I could do and I'm so genuinely proud of myself. Maybe next year I'll aim even higher? Who knows!

Great job to everyone else who took part in CalmWriMo/NaNoWriMo, no matter if you hit your goal, you did great and I'm so proud of you and I kiss you btw. Also thank you winter tumblr dot com for coming up with this idea and making my first steps into the world of November writing challenges a little easier!

remember that Alex and Youngbin love u all <3

[holllandtrash]

Congrats on 3K followers! Very much deserved. I'm a new follower and was curious to know the story behind your blog (how long youve had it for and how you started out/transitioned into f1) only if you want to share your story of course (:

sit down and get some popcorn babes, here is my life story

Back story, I’ve been writing fanfiction since 2011, I started on quotev (If anyone remembers that) and it was solely 1D fanfics also i was way too fcking young to be writing fanfiction

I started this blog in like mid 2016 and it was mainly an mcu blog (cough cough Tom Holland/Peter Parker) and I wrote a lot of one shots and more on here, but that where the name ‘holllandtrash’ comes from :’)

I took a break from writing fanfic from like mid 2018-2020 bc I started school, moved across the country, dropped out of school, moved back home, went back to school, thought I was in love yadda yadda but I sort of fell out of writing during that time or if I did write, I would never post it

Oh but what happened in 2020 ??? Pandemic !!!! AND the 10 year anniversary of one direction so I actually started to get back into 1d fanfic writing (didn’t post any of it) but I fell back in love with fanfiction while I was stuck at home

I also fell in love w Harry Potter again and then I started a wattpad like mid 2020 and wrote a few HP fics on there that are horribly long and one of them isn’t even completed yet BUT that was most of my 2021, hp, tik tok, wattpad and school

That leads me to falling in love with F1 early in 2022 (I’m a new fan) and honestly for the entirety of last year I was still writing my Harry Potter fics, (shoutout to Elusive & Burn) I was in school up until May, had a full time job after that (still have it), broke up w my ex 💅 decided to save up to move across the world (still working on that part) but everything was going good up until December of 2022

I stopped writing because Christmas is always chaotic for me and my family and work was stupid busy and i was planning a 3 week trip for January and then I got back from that trip and suffered from a burst fucking eardrum of all things so I couldn’t work and i was stuck at home I was lonely and had no motivation

And then one day in February, still with the HP fanfic on hold bc I just couldnt bring myself to write it, I decided to log onto my good ol tumblr and what do I see but some F1 stuff and I’m like oh this is lovely (bc the season hadn’t started yet and i missed the drivers) and one of the first things I saw was a social media au and I was like hey wait…I could do that...

So I did and the Pierre smau (worlds collide) was my first ever piece of f1 writing- if you can even call it that, but then I was hooked. I stuck with the smau’s for the most part for the first few weeks but it was a really good transition to actually writing one shots and eventually back into chaptered fics

I wish I had liked or reblogged that first social media au I saw because it really jump started me back into writing after taking almost three months off

anyway now I am writing when I can, splitting my time between Tumblr and trying to write a real book. My Harry Potter fic on wattpad is still on hold and I would like to go back to it but it’s hard. But this platform really pushed me to just focus on what i love and all of the kind and supportive messages from followers like you remind me why I love to write, I want to write for other people, I want people to feel the things that I feel, even if just for a short amount of time

i'll try to publish a book one day but man writing is fucking hard so who knows

if u made it this far, thank u for reading all of this xoxo

[kpophubb]

I HAVE DID IT. OH GOOD GOD

(And I don't even believe in God ??)

I am BACK HELLO IT IS ME HEE ANONIE ♡☆♡☆~

I k it has been such a long time but trust me I have prepared loads of message to send. Long story short because i do not wanna trauma dump my phone broke, got a new phone, then the new phone arrived with defects, replaced it, realized I was logged out of tumblr but like the password was autosaved in the ruined prev phone, cried and sulked about not being able to sens you ask then like yesterday night I just suddenly remembered my password LMAO

Now I know you can ask why didn't I just make a new account.

1. it FELT WRONG LIKE CHEATJNG ON YOU

2. I have good shit reblogged via this acc

Anyway babes I have missed you sm. Like I really wanna be a better anon 😔 and be more frequent but for the past two months I have been racing against time in getting work done for internships, Uni and work :// so :/ tbh when I couldn't access tumblr the thing I actually felt bad about was not being to send you ask and yeah ik I could make another acc but 😶

Sending you ask is like one of fav things and also your replies make me giggle. And I really missed sending you asks 🤧 thankfully I am on a 20 day break from tomorrow so I can spam you with love and fluff 💕 💖

Your Hee anonie

Oh my god look who’s back!!😭🫶🏻 my hee anonie !! 🖤 ohmygod forgetting password WHY IS THIS SUCH A BIG RELATE I don’t know my password for most of my socials. Esp the fact that I don’t know my password for Weverse or vlive so I can’t even use those apps to watch Enha from other devices w bigger screen 🥲 anyway I’m just so smiley to hear that you even wanted to text me T~T <33 I missed you SO MUCH MORE and what are you even saying what the-??? You’re already SUCH A SWEETHEART ANON AND YOUU MEAN SM TO ME YOU’VE NO IDEA!🤍🤍 that’s why I go on a hunt to find you (I mean leave posts on my acc for u) whenever I get the chance to and we haven’t interacted for long!! Law school is the DEFINITION of hectic and it’s only natural that you won’t have time to come here :(( I totally understand you😚 BUT YAAAY a break!🥹 use this break to do EVERYTHING you wanted to do and ofc <33 I’m looking forward to talking with you more 🖤🤍

Here’s some hoontonin for you -> hoon speaking English cause that’s the cutest kind of English we all will ever hear 😏🥺

[osamusriceballs]

Hiya eve ive missed you so much so i thought id drop you an ask with an update,, gosh its almost been a year!!

I hope everything has been going well with you :) how are classes? And college? I hope your family is okay too and you’ve been staying safe and taking care of yourself <3 love you loads.

Ive been so inactive on tumblr this is probably the first time in quite a while that ive logged on regularly and i wanted to drop you an ask,, after all,, you are the very first friend ive made on here :D

Things are so busy lately. Im gonna graduate high school lmfao,, gotta sit for my final exams before i do,, those will be in march, and then i’ll be free. Its so scary tbh,, but im very excited bc college is something im really really looking forward to :D went through so much last year,, ive been so exhausted bc things havent been the best, but im trying! and thats enough for me ><

Valentine’s is coming up,, do you have any plans? Here’s a cheesy valentine card i found on pinterest and thought would be cute if i sent u ><

Also,, your miya twin posts seriously give me life,, i spent a good few minutes reading everything on your profile, could you start tagging me again everytime you write something? Id love to read them!!

Sending you huge virtual hugs,, take care eve!!

-ari xx

ARI-CHAN!! 💖💖

I knew it‘s been a while, BUT A WHOLE YEAR?! 😳😳😳 I honestly thought you left tumblr, I checked your blog a few weeks ago and saw nothing new, so I thought you‘re probably busy with school and real life stuff 🥺🥺 I wanted to DM you, and I was so happy when I saw your ask here 💖 good luck for your final exams!! Do you have to study already, or will you start soon? I‘m so proud of you for going through the last year, if you need to share something, you can always come to me 💖💖 did you already apply for college? I‘m sure it will go well and that you‘ll love college!! (Except for exam phases, they are just the worst 😭😭)

My semester break started yesterday, so I‘m looking forward to get some time to relax 🥰 but other than that I‘m totally fine! I‘m also healthy and well, I hope you too!! And make sure to stay safe pls!! 🥺💖 I dyed my hair pink yesterday, and I woke up with a pink pillow this morning, I don‘t think it will ever turn white again 😂😂 felt like sharing this rn 😂😂

My Valentine’s date was an exam tbh, I actually never had a proper date on Valentine’s Day like EVER 😭😭😭 *cries in forever alone* my best Valentine’s Day was three years ago when I spontaneously decided to get a piercing as ✨self-care✨

What did you do on Valentine’s Day? 💖💖 hope you also treated yourself to something good!! 💖

I SAW THAT YOU READ THE OSAMU THING, AND I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE THAT YOU ENJOYED IT 😭😭💖💖 I can tag you in the next fics, so you won‘t miss your well deserved Miya content 💖

SENDING LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU TOO!! 💖💖 stay safe and smile when you read this 💖

[universitykpop]

It’s time to talk about it

I’ve decided to publish that post I talked about the other day. I’ve noticed several other writers on here are making posts about lack of feedback and interaction and that they’re leaving or no longer writing. This is a topic that I’ve tried to not post a lot about because I didn’t want to seem ungrateful or annoying. But if there’s any time to talk about it, it’s now. I’ve put it below a cut because it is quite a long post with a lot of my emotions about tumblr and my blog. So buckle up, kids, ‘cause it’s a rollercoaster of feels.

My Experience as a Tumblr Fanfic Writer;

When I started this blog, I was fresh off of onedirectionfanfiction.com and 5sosfanfiction.com, where I never had many readers or any feedback. I got maybe 10 comments (they weren’t in-depth reviews, just ‘omg’ or ‘harry’s so hot’) in total from my dozens and dozens of long fanfics (some stories hitting over 100k words which I can’t even dream of now). Coming onto here, I didn’t think my writing was going to get much attention based on past experience. There was a handful of “big scenario blogs” and I liked and reblogged everything I enjoyed reading because that’s how I wanted people to interact with my content. I didn’t know how it felt to receive positive feedback but I wanted others to, even when they were already getting it from so many other readers. When I hit 500 followers, I thought that was it, I wasn’t going to get more followers/readers. I had readers requesting that I do requests and begging for more parts of stories meant to just be oneshots. I was so over the moon to be receiving that kind of love for something I enjoyed doing. I felt like I was finally good at something; I had a purpose for spending hours writing about people I admired and liked. I was getting messages almost everyday for two years and if I hadn’t posted in so long anons were in my ask box asking if I was still here. I had regular anons who went by cute little anon names for a short time. My notifications exploded so much that I had to turn off push notifications because my phone would not stop going off in classes. I cannot describe how happy I was in that time. I have been writing and reading fanfics since 2009 and I always wondered how it would feel to be one of the “popular” writers on a fic site, and during 2016/2017 I thought I achieved that based on the interactions I got. 

As I continued to write, I started to notice many of the fic writers I followed started making friends with other writers I followed. As someone who is very introverted, shy, and socially anxious (especially at this point in time of my blog), I wondered if any other writers would reach out to me and befriend me. No one ever really did, and I thought something was wrong with me. They had their group chats and inside jokes they’d post and tag each other. They would inspire each other to write things and bounce ideas off one another. I haven’t ever felt like I was a part of the kpop fanfic writing community; I was just kinda there. People knew my url but didn’t know me. I had mutuals who messaged me a few times, and then a while later I go back to see what they’re doing and they’re no longer mutuals with me. It shouldn’t have bothered me but it did. Was I annoying? Did they just not like me? Did someone else talk shit about me and then that person changed their opinion about me? I’ll never know because I don’t like confrontation. I have always felt kind of left out, and it reminded me a lot of my real life. Since 2015 when I started this blog, I’ve made one friend and I still talk to her to this day. At times, she was my only friend. She knows who she is, and I cannot say how grateful I am that she reached out to me.

Around 2018, interactions just kind of stopped. I became paranoid and frantic about how I could get back to where I was, but nothing I did worked. As I approached 17k followers, only needing two more to hit it, I began to lose followers by the dozens. I couldn’t figure out why. I was still posting stories but barely got feedback. I decided to stop writing for a bit and not many readers were concerned. It got to the point that I avoided getting on here because I knew I would only get upset and feel guilty by logging on. It felt weird because I had such a large following yet no one cared. And now, I sit at 16.4k followers who barely interact with my content. I don’t get messages about my content, and sometimes I get more than 5 notes in a day. I don’t feel motivated to write because who’s going to read it? I felt like I lost my purpose; it didn’t matter if I continued to write. My stories became shorter and more scarce. I moved to other platforms to see if engagement would go up, but it didn’t. It was pointless to post here and on other sites. I had a taste of praise and I miss it. When it stopped, I couldn’t figure out if I had done something wrong. I study consumer behavior and write papers about it for my Masters degree, and I still can’t figure out why fanfic readers don’t engage with authors on here. In merchandising, people are always willing to give their opinion on products whether it’s good or bad, so why aren’t fic consumers willing? Some writers I’ve read, who I watched grow in popularity and envied their readers interactions, are now in the same boat I’m in and I hate that this is happening to us. Some of them I’m shocked they are also dealing with this. We make this content for free, spending h o u r s to create it, and we get nothing in return. I loved being able to connect with my readers and feel their emotions about my stories. It made me feel fulfilled finally as an fic author.

Now, I can’t remember the last time I opened my scenario documents. How could something that I loved doing for so long become a burden? This blog caused some of my happiest moments and my saddest. Sometimes I debate deleting my account or logging off for good. But I can’t let go after all the effort I’ve put into my blog. 

Would I recommend becoming a Tumblr fanfic writer? Absolutely not. Do not make Tumblr your primary source where you post your stories. Focus on interactions and feedback from actual fiction websites, where it is meant to host those relationships.

This post isn’t meant to shame anyone or brag. I wanted to be real for a moment and tell my truth. So many writers randomly leave without a word, and I just can’t let myself do that. I want to be in the fandoms and contribute and have fun, but I feel like my time to do that has been over for a long time, like I don’t belong here anymore. I’ll still be around but I probably won’t plan to update stories, specifically on this blog. I will most likely post random oneshots on my ateez sideblog @alotofteez and my accounts on aff and ao3. I’ll still make photo edits every once in a while. I really didn’t think I’d make this sort of “goodbye” post because I had so many plans for this blog that just unfortunately never came to fruition.

[thisbluewind]

Dare

I wrote a sad KyoSaya oneshot. 

There’s lots of angst. Sorry.

Sayaka slid into her desk chair with a sigh. “Ugh, schoolwork is so boring,” she complained to no one in particular. She opened the lid of her computer, and entered her password in a blur. She’d finished her homework with Madoka, time to scroll through tumblr and talk to people! She’d missed befriending strangers on the internet. And maybe Kyoko would be online.

It had seemed like her girlfriend was avoiding her, and their most frequent interactions nowadays were reblogging and liking each other’s posts on tumblr, and if Sayaka texted first, late nights spent talking for hours upon hours about nothing and everything. However, Sayaka eagerly snapped up even these snippets of conversation, when they forgot themselves and easily fell back into their old rhythms just as they did before Kyoko distanced herself. 

Her shoulders sagged as she opened Google and typed in tumblr. She took a breath and forced herself into her usual cheerful posture and smile. It’s fine, I’m fine, nothing’s wrong, I’m okay. It worked, at least for the time being. She shook her light blue hair over one shoulder. It was growing long in quarantine, and she quite liked it. Sayaka logged in to tumblr and was greeted by her familiar blue dashboard. She clicked the blue ‘create a post’ pencil and started recording a video. 

She grinned, letting go of her fears and worries and insecurities, and for a moment, she was actually fine. The grin slowly became more genuine as the camera started rolling. 

“Hey everyone, Oktavia here! Sorry it’s been a while since my last post, I’ve been really busy with school and stuff. As always, make sure to drop me an ask or DM if you have a request for what character I should draw next. The top three as of today are-” she consulted a piece of blank loose leaf paper, though her viewers didn’t know that. She’d committed the list to memory and the paper was just a prop. “They are… in third place, Keefe Sencen from Keeper of the Lost Cities, requested by an anon. Sorry anon, never read the series. I’ll look up some reference art and post the finished product by tomorrow night, though! Uraraka Ochako from My Hero Academia (requested by lilywritesfanfic is in second place, and I’ll livestream drawing her on Saturday. And finally, our first place winner- Spider-Man, requested by eva-the-demon07. I’ll post a drawing of him tonight! Have an absolutely incredible day, everyone! Bye!” she waved at the camera with one hand, then clicked post with the other. 

She slumped down in her chair, satisfied. Within seconds, comments started rolling in. We love you, Oktavia! Take as much time as you need, remember, you’re not obligated to draw for us. I love your drawings, but you’re more important, take care of yourself, okay? You’re amazing, Oktavia! 

Her need for validation filled, she clicked over to Kyoko’s blog and was greeted with several new posts. Her cell phone lit up with a text just as she was clicking on the first one. Sayaka groaned and picked it up. There was a new text from Kyoko and two new ones joined it on her screen. She tapped on them immediately. Kyoko had written ‘idk how to break up with people properly ive never done it before but im breaking up with u’ and then ‘i dont love u anymore’ and then ‘theres someone else’. 

Kyoko was breaking up with her? There was ‘someone else’?

“Are you kidding me?” she didn’t realize she said it out loud until she heard it. “There’s someone else? Just how long has this ‘someone else’ been someone else?” she snarled at her phone, tossing it onto her desk. 

Sayaka flopped onto her bed, shocked. A tear leaked out of her eye and she angrily swiped it away. She lifted her right hand, seeing her bright blue Soul Gem growing dark with sadness and bitterness.  

A knock on her bedroom door came.

“Come in,” she said listlessly. She made no effort to sit up or disguise the fact that she was crying. A red-haired girl with a ponytail stepped into the room, her usual bravado tinted with slight shame. 

“What the hell do you want?” Sayaka stood up, the venom in her voice surprising her. She stalked over to Kyoko.

 “Just hear me out, Saya-” Kyoko started.

“I care enough about you that I will. But after that, get out of my life forever,” Sayaka snapped. 

“It was a dare!” Kyoko burst out. “It was a stupid dare, just a game. I didn’t mean it.”

“You didn’t mean any of it.” The words came out hard and cold. “It was all just a dare. That makes sense- you never loved me. You were just playing with me for a year.”

“Saya- I wasn’t-” Kyoko clearly hadn’t meant for it to go like this. 

“Leave me alone, Kyoko!” Sayaka shouted, her voice breaking. “We’re done.”

Kyoko stumbled backwards in shock. “Wait, no! But Sayaka-”

“Just go! I can’t believe I fell for your act!” Sayaka ushered her out of the room and slammed the door. She braced herself against the inside of the door and slid to the ground. She opened her hand, revealing her previously bright Soul Gem a dark midnight blue. It was almost completely corrupted. 

Sayaka sighed with regret, and closed her eyes. She could feel her Soul Gem cracking, and when it shattered into a Grief Seed, she didn’t feel anything at all. 

“Kyoko,” she whispered. And then she fell to the floor.

On the other side of the door, Kyoko slammed the side of her fist against the wall. 

“Damn it,” she swore, anguish in every word. “Why did it have to go like that?” 

A witch’s labyrinth expanded through the door, and Kyoko gasped, swiveling around to stare at it. 

“Damn it! Sayaka!” she called. “Sayaka, can you hear me?” Receiving no reply, she transformed, and slammed the dull end of her spear against the door, and it collapsed inward painfully slowly. “Sayaka!”

She broke through the door at last. Sayaka was crumpled on the floor in front of it. 

“Sayaka, no! This can’t be happening.” Kyoko tentatively turned Sayaka over, noting the lack of Soul Gem. “No!” She knew what had happened. Sayaka had succumbed to despair and turned into a witch, and it was all her fault. 

Tears slid down her cheeks as she released Sayaka. 

“I love you,” she choked out. But it was too late. 

[dw-writes]

I totally get trying to be a few chapters ahead for a series, and I do that too. But I’m not good at logging onto tumblr consistently to add to the queue so I fail to post anyway. I’m so awful to my readers! Anyway, may I please request a Gabriel Reyes x Reader after Overwatch reunites? Reader was part of Overwatch the first time around and was with Gabe, and now they meet on opposing sides and she knows that it’s him under Reaper’s mask? Thank you!

Listen. If you tell me that you write on tumblr, ima have to request that username so i can r e a d your s t u f f :3 You’re not awful to your readers, don’t think that!!

I really hope you enjoy this~

You had gotten a called from a laboratory in your city for your assistance, your uh…‘muscle’ as the person who called you put it. You listened to the call, gave the appropriate ‘uh-huhs’ as they rattled off why they needed help – a delivery across town – and how much they’d pay – you heard all those zeroes, right?

“So why can’t you hire an actual security firm?” you asked as you skimmed through your calendar. “They’re much cheaper, and come with more people.”

“Because its Talon that wants our shipment.”

Your spine straightened so fast that it hurt. “Talon?”

“Y-Yes, ma’am. A few of our shipments have gotten taken already. T-Those that were there, that got away, they said it was Talon members who took it.” The man on the other end of the phone took in a shaky breath. “Listen, we can’t afford to lose this shipment! The equipment inside, we know it’s what they want, but it’s invaluable. It’s cost us decades of research!”

The shock finally sunk in. Your skin was clammy, cold, covered in sweat. “You had me at Talon,” you murmured. You checked your watch, tapped its screen, watched as a map of the city appeared right in front of your face. You leaned back and blinked too hard, squeezed your eyes shut, went cross-eyed. “What time do I need to be there?”

“The shipment goes out at five o’clock,” the scientist stuttered.

“I’ll be there at four-thirty.”

You were actually there are four-fifteen, taking stock of the people that were supposed to go deliver the shipment with you. You sent three of the ten people home when they answered that they weren’t willing to die for this thing. It took another twenty minutes after that for everything to be finalized, for the shipment to be loaded into the truck, and for you to be ready to go.

It was five-twenty-three.

Talon hit you at five-thirty.

The truck flipped, sending you and the people inside sprawling. You thanked your forethought for magnetically attaching the shipment to the bottom of the truck, or you and a few others would have been flattened by it. There was gunfire by the time you opened the doors.

A massive gun pointed at the spot between your eyes when you looked up. It was a familiar gun, too familiar, and you followed it up to the arm that held it, then the shoulder, and finally the mask.

You didn’t have to see his face to know you both shared the same expression: shock, confusion, and a little bit of fury.

His clawed finger moved away from the trigger.

The people behind you moved. The gun was quick to move, precise, and the thundering shots made your ears ring as they took out the others. It returned to your face.

“You’re not gonna kill me,” you whispered.

“Not yet.”

“Not ever. You can’t.”

You two stared each other down. The gunfire outside of the truck ceased.

“What’s he doing?” a girl whispered.

“Reuniting with someone, I believe,” another woman responded.

“We’re working,” the first droned.

“Do you want to interrupt him?” a third woman asked.

Gabe’s hand replaced the gun in your face, fingers unfurling in a gesture of peace. When you placed your hand in his, he pulled you to your feet. As you stood, his hand released yours to thread his fingers through your hair. He tilted your head up to pressed his forehead against yours.

“Did you take this job to see me?” he whispered.

“No, they just happened to pay well,” you answered.

He chuckled. You reached up, tugging this mask away with the slightest of movements. He let you. His eyes were closed as you took in his face, his skin cold as you traced his jaw.

“I’ve missed you,” you breathed.

Sirens pressed through the air, growing closer. Gabe glanced over his shoulder at the others that stood behind him. “We have to go.”

“But—”

“I won’t be far.”

He and the shipment disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

You saw the vague outlines of people that took their own way out. It was mere seconds before the lights bounced off the buildings lining the street. You just watched them.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #219

“make a move and you pay for it; pick a lord and you pray to it.”

Do you actually love your grandpa? I don't really remember either of mine. I do from what I remember and have learned of them, though. Do you actually love your grandma? I don't remember my dad's mom at all, but I mean, I love her simply for being my dad's mother, who loved her. My mom's mom, yeah, even though she's. Hard to like a lot of the time. Do you have Facebook? Yes. What was the last thing you posted on someone’s wall? A birthday post. Do you have MySpace? My old one still exists, but I sure haven't been on it since it was current. What is your favorite kind of music? Heavy metal. Favorite soft drink? Mountain Dew Voltage is actually cocaine to me rip. Favorite food? Probably like... pepperoni pizza or cheeseburgers. I'm a full-blooded 'Merican. Have you ever felt replaced? OH, HAVE I! Have you ever worn false eyelashes? No. Do you ever regret making a friend? I don't think so. Can you cure mental illness? I don't know about cure, but you can certainly learn how to handle it better and alleviate symptoms. Is God good? Define "God." Cats or dogs? Kitties. Do you play video games? Yeah, but I don't play nearly the variety that I used to. Do you take medication for mental health? Yes. Can you really be racist to a white person? No shit? Do you have a favorite hair accessory? What does it look like? No. What’s your favorite type of insect? Butterflies. What’s your LEAST favorite type of insect? Larvae, like maggots. Disgusting. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? What did you say? What’s his/her favorite food? Idk and I don't feel like checking. I rarely use it. What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you? "Thoughts & Prayers" by Motionless In White is a mood with my mad-at-God-24/7 ass. It needs to stop honestly. I've become so hateful about religion. Not towards followers, mind you, just the concept itself. I could write a novel on this, but I don't feel like it. Just me and organized religion don't get along anymore. Have you ever slept in a water bed? On a water mattress, yeah. How do you feel about having sex during your menstrual period? Never tried, not for me. Sounds messy. Does your ex have a job? My most recent, I guess you mean? Yeah. Have you ever slept in a car? Yeah, on long drives to like New York and stuff. What was the last term of endearment you used (babe, hun, dear, etc)? *checks phone* "Sweetie." How often do you use Flickr? Never. I can't log into my account anymore since Yahoo said "fuck u Britt," so there's no point. Have you ever been on a blind date? No. Do you have a crush on the last person you texted? She's my girlfriend so y'know like- Have you ever got into an argument with the last person you kissed? We very much disliked each other at first, so... guess, lmao. Have you ever liked somebody who was nice to you, but horrible to everyone else? Eh, that's a mystery... Juan was very sweet to me, but I know he had a bad rep. I didn't really see how he interacted with others. How’s your appetite atm? It's normal. I'm not currently hungry. Out of all the conversations you’ve had recently, which one has made you smile or laugh the most? Sara randomly and excitedly texted me to tell me "Welcome to the Jungle" was on at work, which was on the radio both when I was there and she was here, so she thought of how much she missed me lakdjsfkalwe I smiled my face in half. Do you look decent in your most recent photograph? Eh, it wasn't awful. It was for my school ID. What is one vacation destination that many people think is just fabulous but which you personally have no desire to visit (or revisit)? New York City. My sis went and said it was 1.) insane and 2.) disgusting. If you were five years younger but knew everything at that age that you’ve actually learned over the last five years, what is one thing you would definitely do differently? Go to the partial hospitalization program way sooner. What serves as the greatest motivation for you in your daily life? To earn a happy, content future. What activity that you have to do every once in a while that you dread the most? "Every once in a while," I'd say clean Mitsu's cage. She is such a strange rat. Enjoys pets, but being picked up is a no sir. When people hear what you do for a living, what is the most typical question or comment they give you regarding your job? N/A If you were left alone for one hour with nothing more than a pen and a notepad, what would you be inclined to draw or write during those 60 minutes? I'd probably write a poem. I know I wouldn't draw 'cuz fuck no am I doing so with a pen. If you could witness anything at all in super-slow motion, what would you want to see? Uhhh. Idk. Anything I can think of, like lightning, I've seen because of the Internet. If someone were looking for you in a bookstore, in what section would they be most likely to find you? Probably like, young adult fiction/fantasy, something like that. What do you forget to do more often than anything else? Lately, take one of my mood stabilizers. I need to get the box out... aaaand forget every day. I haven't felt any different without it tho so like... If you could teach everyone in the world one skill, what would it be? Compassion, maybe. You’ve been offered the chance to paint a billboard along a highway with any message you choose, as long as it’s only 10 words long. What is your message? I'm not spending time musing over something that serious lakaljdsfawe. Would you ever travel to Africa? Hell yes. I desperately want to go to South Africa on the Tswalu Kalahari tour. Whose house were you last at? Besides my own, my older sister's. Have you ever had a near-death experience? I guess this depends on how near death you mean. I've been in one car accident that my mom managed to make minor only by being a good driver; realistically, we should've flipped, according to the cop. My mom just acted quickly enough. Then I heavily ODed, but I was given more than enough fluids in time to keep me surprisingly okay. I don't know what would've happened if I hadn't told Mom so quickly, and I don't care to think about it. I'm fucking lucky and don't want to think about what could've happened. Have you ever met anyone who was overly addicted to a computer game? Tbh I myself could've been in this position when my depression was so bad, but then there's factors to that that lean towards it just having been a preference versus addiction. Idk. It's not a problem anymore so not worth debating over. Have you ever been fingered? That was the first cheat when you chose abstinence lmao. What do you do the most when you are online? Watch or listen to something on YouTube. What video game have you played the most? So in WoW you can actually type in /played to see how long you've played JUST that one character up to the years (or maybe days?) down to seconds and. I will never type it in lmao. Ongoing games are v depressing. Do you have scars you don’t like to talk about? No, those are thankfully gone. What is something you and your significant other do that may seem weird to others? Be helplessly and openly in love with imaginary demons while dating each other lmao (she's a Freeza fanatic). When and why did you last cry? The second day of school because of math class. When was the last time you drank? I think like... back on the 4th of July. Or some days after 'cuz I know Mom and I didn't finish the container in one night. Do you wear jewelry a lot? Just my piercings, really. Save for on my ear lobes because the holes on the left are fucked up, yay. I'm going to wind up just slightly stretching the first holes when I can afford a small kit; actual studs or hoops look stupid. Never wanted gauges until the holes got too stretched by the weight of hoops; now something needs to be there. Who in your household do you not have a good relationship with? My sister's (who doesn't even live here...) dog Bentley. I hate him and he doesn't like me. No, that doesn't mean I mistreat a pet. He's just a pain in the goddamn ass. Who in your life are you scared to lose more than anything? My mom. I don't know what would happen to me or how I'd cope at this time. Honestly, would you rather be single or in a relationship? I'm happier in a healthy relationship. Do any of your friends not get along at all? No. I mean, not that I know of. What are your 3 favorite internet sites? I'd be LOST without YouTube, then KM follows up close. #3, uh... Facebook or Tumblr, I suppose. Have you ever gotten anything autographed, if so by who & what was it? No. Well, I do have a little book of Disney World character autographs, but I don't think that really counts. Do you prefer Walmart or Target? We use Wal-mart. Who is your favorite model? Sara is a gd model don't even @ me about it. What have you done that is out of character for you? The Joel thing is the most anti-Brittany thing I've ever done for sure. I can't think of anything more current that stands out, unless it's- NO WAIT, this was quite a few months ago, but I firmly stood against an opinion my psychiatrist made known. He's very talkative and open as hell about his beliefs in current events, and he said something about pit bulls where I was just like... um no sir. I wasn't going to be rude though to HIM of all people so just said I don't base dogs by their breed and shut up. Awkward silence and we moved on. What do you feel strong enough to protest about? LGBT acceptance and rights. I already protest by having given up Chic-fil-a okay I care y'all. What’s the biggest blooper you’ve never lived down? Who knows... What is the best thing you have done just because you were told you can’t? Idk. I'm lucky to not have really been told that... What are you most thankful for? Thinking it all over, probably being born where I am. Boy is America FUCKED UP in some places, but boy would I be in a MUCH worse place if I was born in, say, North Korea, between my mental issues, sexuality, and opinions that can go to either end of the spectrum. How do you feel about thrift shops or flea markets? I love them! You can find the coolest, wackiest shit. What do you like to put gravy on? I hate gravy with a passion. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? No. What one thing in particular makes you feel good about yourself? I genuinely think I'm a nice person that has other's well-being in mind. What is priceless to you? Love, in any form. What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? Uhhh. I guess more than anything, I'm proud of my distant cousin for her unwavering love for and loyalty to her daughter when it came to escaping the Middle East and her dictatorial husband. Read Not Without My Daughter, it's great. Do you keep a budget? I don't have an income. What makes you feel rested and refreshed? Rested, a good night's sleep following being truly exhausted. Refreshed, oh man, gimme a hot, long shower. Who depends on you the most? Nobody. Could you ever be someone’s bodyguard? Hell no. Has one of your biggest fears come true? Yes. I was entirely convinced the world would literally end if Jason left. That night still doesn't feel real. Have you ever let your mom or significant other fight a battle for you? Colleen and Mom once fought after I'd ignored her, so I guess? It wasn't my wish or anything though for her to do it; Mom had shit to say by her own volition, and I wasn't going to tell my mother "no you can't do that." Did you create a checklist for your ideal spouse? No? Have you ever ridden on a subway or train and what did you like about it? Nope. Do you have to experience something to fully understand it? Yes. What embarrasses you instantly? A LOT A LOT A LOT!!!!! It is SO easy to embarrass me, including second-handedly. Do you think you could be a firefighter, why/why not? Hell no, I'm most certainly not in the necessary shape, and quite honestly I'm not that willing to risk my life for random people that could be assholes. What do you think should be censored? Idk. I have mixed feelings on censorship, no matter how stupid it seems. Eh... yeah, idk. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Queen Victoria and William Clark. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Depends on who and obviously if we're even compatible. Have you ever fired a gun? No. What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Sincerely caring for them, probably. Who is a female role model in your life? My mom, in some ways. What childhood dreams have you neglected? Jfc a lot, I don't want to think about it. What do you have trouble seeing clearly in your mind? My future, honestly. It's hard picturing my elderly days. Like I'm not suicidal anymore, I just don't really... realize I'll get there, I guess. I can't picture myself being old and alive. Would you travel to space if possible? No, too long of a trip. Are you an optimistic person? I'm a realist. Do you consider yourself more realistic OR idealistic? ^ Have you ever felt bi-curious? I started out accepting myself as bisexual through thinking myself as bicurious. I quickly realized "bisexual" was more accurate than "bicurious," but it was an easier thing to shift acceptance towards in regards to yourself when you thought you were straight for 21 years. Are you a fan of U.S. President Donald Trump? No sir. I agree with some of his ideas, but I hate him as an asshole person without a trace of manners. Do you know anyone with autism, mood disorders or learning disabilities? Multiple. I'd assume most people know someone who fits at least one criterion there. Are you green-eyed? Not exactly, but they definitely have a green hue to them. They're a gray/green blue. Would you consider UFC fighting and WWE real sports events? I think it's beyond debate that a lot of it is staged, but I mean, I guess to a degree? You still have to fight. It's physical exertion. Have you ever had an immediate relative pass away of cancer? No. Wait. I can't remember if my grandmother had cancer or not... but I don't think so. She was just old. Would you rather work in an office, warehouse or on a retail shop floor? An office, definitely. In my work-hunting as well as actual work experience, office work is probably the only job I could actually do that doesn't require a degree... Do you have a favorite wild animal? Why? You can't know me and not be fully aware meerkats are my favorite animal. Why? Ho boy. I love social species, and meerkats have such strong personalities, and holy shit are those little things brave as fuck. They're so GOSH DARN CUTE!!!! too, and their loyalty to each other is astounding. I love how playful and curious the little guys are, and... just wow okay, I could write an actual essay on how I adore meerkats so goddamn much. Do you have any unusual, uncommon phobias? I'm sure there are other people afraid of whale sharks, but I don't think it's common? And is an actual phobia of pregnancy uncommon? Idk. Do you prefer Android or iPhone? I hate my Android. I've had an iPhone in the past, and it was great. Are you a fan of sweet, sour, salty, or savory snacks? All, depending on my mood. Most often I'd say I like sweet. Do you believe climate change is real? We can't be friends if you don't. Do you believe in evolution OR creationism? Evolution. Do you think people can really predict the future? Nah. Have you been to a lot of shrinks? I hate that word. Just call them therapists. But yeah. How often do you clean your room? Not often enough. I need to dust... Any movies coming out soon that you want to see? I DESPERATELY wanna see the "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" one. Those books were my CHILDHOOD. What was the last fear you overcame? I don't know about totally overcame, but vocational rehab helped me quite a bit with answering the phone to numbers I didn't recognize. Have you ever hurt yourself trying to crack a body part? No, nothing on me really cracks. Well no, both my big toes do, but no, I haven't hurt myself trying to crack them. What’s the worst part about winter? The days where it's cold BUT ALSO WINDY asdkljfaklwej;awe Summer? It's too fucking hot and probably humid, too. Spring? POLLEN. Fall? Literally nothing. :') Are you allergic to anything? Pollen and silver. How many times have you changed a diaper in your life? Like, once. Which country has the most fascinating culture? Oh boy, idk. Who does your favorite song? Idrk what my current favorite song is. I say my all-time fave is "False Flags" by Massive Attack, but it's not something I constantly wanna listen to. I guess you could maybe say it's "Headache" by Motionless In White; I play and repeat that a lot. I've really been digging them lately. When was the last time you wore makeup? Shit dude, idk. Months ago. Do you prefer males or females or both? I'm generally afraid of men, but I mean, I don't "prefer" one over the other if he's a good guy. Where in your town do you go when you wanna chill with a few friends? I don't have any friends I go out with. But there's nowhere to go here anyway. Where’s the best place to get coffee? N/A Have you ever seen someone struggle with an addiction? My dad was an alcoholic, but he's recovered. He loved (idk if he still does it) fantasy football, too. Pretty sure I got my addictive personality from him, lol. When was the last time someone gave you flowers? Early 2017. Do you like cranberry juice? omfg NO. Do you play any zombie-killing video games? The Last of Us is fucking dope, but I didn't finish it before my PS3 broke. :'( I like the Resident Evil series too, and some of those games have zombies or similar creatures. And The Walking Dead game tears my heart out every fucking season. What is the dominating genre on your mp3 player/iPod? Varying forms of metal. Do you have a book shelf? No. What website do you spend way too much time on? YouTube is ALWAYS open. I constantly either watch let's players and a few other kinds of YTers, moving windows around so I can see it and do other things, or listen to music. Do you like wind chimes? I LOVE!!!!!!!!!! WINDCHIMES!!!!!!!!!! Do you have a fetish? No. Do you have a pet fish? No. Don't get me wrong, they're beautiful and calming, but not worth it for me personally. They don't have much of a personality at all, and cleaning a tank so much for just a fish isn't for me. Do you like kettle corn? (That sweet and salty popcorn) Yessss! Do you enjoy classic rock? Hell yeah, man. When was the last time you went for a walk, just cause? Not since I was at Sara's last. Do you listen to Type O Negative? No. Do you have any fillings or cavities? Yeah. Have you gotten your wisdom teeth taken out yet? No, and thankfully I don't need to. One was very close to needing to be, but it has just enough room. Do you actually read privacy policies when signing up for new things? "Depending on what I’m signing up for, I’m likely to at least skim it." <<< This. Did you have a lot of birthday parties when you were younger? If so, did you invite everyone in the class? I had a party every year up to... idk what age. And no, I only invited friends. Do you like when things are color coordinated? Yes. Have you ever participated in one of those “guess how many jelly beans, mints, etc. are in this jar!” contest? if so, have you ever won? Yeah, and no. Can you juggle? Nope. Have you ever mistaken a ringing phone on TV or in a movie for your own? Who hasn't? How often do you use bobby pins? Never. My hair's really too short for them. Well, I'd probably pin the right side up if I was doing something like cleaning. Do you live on an avenue, road, drive or something else? Road. What are your school colors? Blue and white. Have you ever taken a picture with Santa when you were little? Yeah. Have you ever rolled down a steep, grassy hill for fun? Actually yeah. Do you like Nerds candy? Yes I do.

[wcsted-blog1]

        this is a long and somewhat emotional follow forever , as i feel it’s genuinely the most MEANINGFUL one i have done so far ?? like genuinely i did tear up a little writing this shit so .  .  . i just want to thank you all not gonna lie , simply because you guys are the best , and i mean it with all of my heart , some of you quite literally STOPPED ME from giving up writing as a whole without even realising , because yeah , early january i did think of quitting , i was so close to , it would’ve taken a little push and i would’ve quite literally deleted this and all of my previous accounts , but i can tell you right now - i am SO GLAD that i did not. it’s all because of you !!

please CTRL + F AND SEARCH FOR YOUR USERNAME , IT’S FASTER THAN SCROLLING LMFAO

      to be fair this follow forever is just an excuse to be able to thank you guys publicly. some of you already know how much i appreciate you , with the random I LOVE YOU ALL’s in group chats or just me genuinely being an annoying cunt and bugging you 24/7 , some others i’m may be more shy about or i just simply admire you from afar , - and regardless of whether we talk or not , if you’re on here it just means you’ve somehow helped me , to not quit , stopped me from doing so as a whole , and have helped me to keep doing this thing i’ve been doing for almost five years now. i have to say it would’ve probably been one of my biggest mistakes to just QUIT , so i am here to T H A N K Y O U , for inspiring me , for helping me grow as a writer , for helping me with my english ( which you all do ) , for dealing with my ass , for everything in general.

i feel as if this is the longest follow forever i have done in my life but really it doesn’t matter. this is here to show how much i appreciate you guys , to just thank you for absolutely everything. i’ll stop here and move on to the little paragraphs some are more personal others are more general ones but , whatever the case is you guys warm my fucking heart seriously.

* // ⊰  @pcrscphonie . ⊱ to the titsiana to my cumriana .  .  .                      emily , E M I L Y - what the fuck would i do without your ass ?? like i’m serious ?? i swear talking to you gives me life - genuinely , you make me crack the fuck up on a fucking daily basis. i don’t think i’ve laughed so much in a long time really , so i owe you BIG TIME. not gonna lie i’m fucking glad i managed to drag your ass and get you to join discord , because what would we now do without the sexting gc , our daddy akshay and the bonetown / house party calls ?? ;)) i don’t know but whatever the case is i am WET writing this ( bc i’m tearing up , pls stop being so dirty minded i swear ) . thank you for talking to me after that shit episode i had on a night out , or dealing with my annoying ass on a daily basis , what can i say ?? i actually fucking love you LMAO , as i said you’re the titsiana to my cumriana on a side note i genuinely think that your writing BLOWS my fucking mind , like - lowkey you’re definitely a ) one of my favourite people to write AND talk with and b ) one of the nicest and most talented ones on this hell of a fucking site. so yeah , thank you , thank you and THANK YOU BEBÉ.

* // ⊰  @wavesborn​​​ . ⊱  la bestia a mi bebesita .  .  .                        yadira , Y A D I R A , hostia PUTA done coño empiezo ?? meeting you has been one of the highlights of my year so far , and i am lowkey SERIOUS. our calls ?? me staying up until 3 - 5 a.m sometimes just to be talking to you , is literally one of the BEST THINGS EVER , even if i am not even alive the next day. and yes i might be a full on nerd but you know you love it ;)) GRACIAS por todo chica , te lo juro de verdad, i mean it when i say that you’ve quite literally saved my ass , you’re one of the people that have resurrected my muse for roleplaying in general. you’re an angel , literal eres un ANGEL tia , y no cambiaria nuestra amistad por NADA EN EL MUNDO. you’re one of my favourite people on this site , whether it is to talk or write to. eres la mejor colega , y me cago en todo lo que se mueve por que va en serio , ERES UN ANGEL CHICA. thank you for being one of my best mates , i really fucking love you. like stefan adores you too , we both adore you for reals afiashdgaiosi QUE HARIA YO SIN TI TIA. you’ve been one of the MAIN reasons for me to not have given up on writing in early january. you’ve pushed me , inspired me , have made me think creatively in different ways , and have made my muse reach new limits , which is DOPE AS FUCK. GRACIAS POR TODO , LITERAL QUE TE AMO.

* // ⊰  @giaawritess​​​​ . ⊱  un angel pero de verdad colega .  .  .                        gia , G I A , look you’re genuinely i just don’t even know where to begin with , one of the BEST people i have ever met in my life. you’re an angel  ( YOU LITERALLY ARE THO YOUR VOICE ?? OMFG LIKE ACTUALLY KILL ME , YOU SAW IT YESTERDAY , ME AND STEFAN FULL ON FANGIRLING ABOUT YOUR VOICE MATE AHSFOASHDGOIAS ) one of the kindest people i have ever met. you genuinely blow my mind in so many ways , like i look up to you so fucking much ?? it’s crazy really. when i tell you that i wish i were in the USA i literally mean it because you’ve just done so much for me the past three months , *// i’m crying now i- // you’ve been there for me , you’ve made me laugh like an idiot , fangirl the fuck out of myself with your singing , but you’ve also genuinely been one of the best things that have happened to me this year. literal , i look up to you so much ?? you’re like a bigger sister to me , 100%. thank you for being here , for existing , for just being y o u. like for reals gia. i just want you to know that if you ever need ANYTHING i will be there , because i want to give back - you’re an angel i swear , like a r e a l angel. MUCHISIMAS GRACIAS POR TODO , GRACIAS POR SER TU. TE QUIERO TANTO.

* // ⊰  @fircytragcdy​​​​​ . ⊱  plz don’t put me in the box of shame for this i sWEAR i ain’t a mess ( okay i might be but fhasiodghoashdg ) .  .  .                       lucy , L U C Y , idk how you deal with my annoying ass but , i genuinely am thankful as fuck for being able to write with you ?? but there’s something else i have to thank you for as well which is TEMPTING ME to return to indie , like - actually come back , and it took you nothing to convince me ?? from you first hand experiencing my drunk texting in the morning to writing - like you probably think i am a mess let’s be real , which i am but y’know , .  .  . i’m just here to say that i appreciate you A LOT. your writing blows my fucking mind too , like guao is this talent ?? if you write a book please link me , bc i’ll defo buy AND read it mate. whatever the case is , you know you’ve got me here no matter what , if you need anything - imma be there !! you ARE one of the most talented people on this site , your writing is GENUINE quality , and i’m just blessed to be able to write and talk to you fam. i just wanna than u for everything like legit , my messy ass is thankful AF. thank you for writing with me but also for inspiring me , because literally you’ve also helped me regain my muse , and just been one of the ones that stopped me from giving up on writing. thank you mate , for reals. GRAZIE MILLE , 4 REALS , GRAZIE MILLE.

MORE SPECIAL MENTIONS BUT I’M IN A HURRY AND I DON’T HAVE THE TIME RN TO WRITE A HUGE AS PARA FOR EVERYONE FIHASDGHGSAIOPDG I WOULD THO , I SWEAR I WOULD.

* // ⊰  @rosychvrms  ; @nightinqale ; @prcsopa ; @trcnscendant ; @svnflowcr-s ; @darlingstm ;  @hvneymoons ; @dvstedgold ; @emptygcds ; @vuotriste ; @alittlewickcd ; @antisopa ; @pcrscphonie ; @wavesborn ; @giaawritess , @fircytragcdy *ik if i forgot peeps on this section but anyways i can’t remember the urls rn i’m just a crying emotional mess rn tbfh . ⊱  this is a special thank you to y’all .  .  .                     we might’ve chatted , we might’ve written , done both or neither of these , it doesn’t matter. we all were a part of the same thing , the same universe for several months. it’s why you are on here , because someway or another , seeing you on my dash , or getting to write with you whenever i was logged onto @bloodcvrsed , you managed to inspire me and bring back the muse i was on the verge of losing ( and giving up ) . it’s why i gotta thank you all *and i’m definitely missing people but i can’t remember the urls , so if you see this it’s also aimed at you* because you just stopped me from quitting the one thing that i’ve been doing so many years , and really it would’ve been one of the biggest mistakes of my life. i just want to say thank you , THANK YOU FOR STOPPING ME , FOR INSPIRING ME AND FOR BEING THE ONE OF THE MOST TALENTED PEOPLE I HAVE ENCOUNTERED ON THIS SHIT HOLE THAT IS TUMBLR !! THANK YOU GUYS SM ; ILY.

AND THIS IS A SMALL SECTION BUT AN EXTREMELY MEANINGFUL ONE .

* // ⊰  @thefineartofbitchcraft , @serialqueen , @chrysalvsm , @artofbeingperfect , @wildtm . ⊱ to you who have stuck by my side for so many years .  .  .                            i have MISSED YOU ALL , so fucking much. i’ve missed writing with you , talking to you , just being here online. i almost made the mistake of quitting this thing , indie - which yes it’s a hell of a site and yes it’s quite literally full of drama *which is what almost drove me away* but to be fair , i am glad that i was able to see what i almost gave up on. it would’ve bee one of the BIGGEST mistakes i’d ever had made , quitting this - i’ve known you all for AT LEAST a year , with some of you guys i’ve been writing with since 2016 - that’s almost three years , considering i began writing mason in september of the same year - some of you i began writing with on this account , and whatever the case is - YOU ALL have inspired me , you all have made me fall in love with writing , back then , now - all over again really. being back and writing with you guys again made me realise just HOW MUCH i missed this , i missed you all , it made me realise why the past Y E A R i had been unhappy on here but also why my muse had been falling apart , because i wasn’t doing what i wanted , because i made a decision to please someone in fear of losing a friendship. i was unsure on how to turn back as soon as i realised , that i had made a mistake - and i am sorry for that , because - i know some of you missed mason as much as i missed writing him with you - i owe you this apology , and you need to hear it , that i missed this , that i missed it all. - so i am sorry. i’m here to say THANK YOU for having stuck with me for YEARS. i’m actually glad to have you all here i ain’t gonna fuckig lie.THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME LIFE , FOR JUST BEING SO SWEET AND GREAT AND ABSOLUTELY FUCKING TALENTED Y’ALL. i genuinely LOVE you all so fucking much it’s C R A Z Y.        you guys , i am so glad to be back - i am SO FUCKING GLAD TO BE BACK. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU AND THANK YOU.

[mystieres]

hello

it’s swagoru. this will be a message for the people who care about me or just don’t have anything else to do. (sorry if this is straightforward.) it is april 3 today, so please don’t treat this as a prank.

includes: general mood for the past few months, notice of hiatus, where else u can find me, and my plans while i’m on hiatus

once you’ve started reading this, please read through everything. i might cause misunderstandings if only part of this is read.

i am posting with the risk that people will not see this. and that’s alright. i just want to say it. i’m used to people not saying anything back for now. i never expect responses of any kind until they are actually given. this is a little pessimistic but i promise you all that i will not be doing anything reckless. and i promise that i do not blame anyone for this. the message was intended for the sole purpose of expressing how i feel and what i will be doing, and it is not against anyone.

i’ll start with the bad stuff first.

i’ll be frank, and i won’t blame anyone. i feel unwanted on social media and in general. and i don’t want anyone telling me that they did want me around all along, because that doesn’t change the way i experienced or the way i currently feel. i don’t want anyone to apologize for this either, because maybe they really don’t want me around, or they didn’t know how i felt. in any way, none of you are ultimately responsible for how i feel. don’t be. don’t feel responsible. in the end, i should be the one responsible for my own feelings and happiness. it’s just what i’m feeling right now. but i really do love and appreciate the messages of help i have gotten, all the gifts. they have pushed me forward.

while i tried to be as accommodating as possible before, i somehow ended up becoming selfish. as much as i tried to prevent people becoming uncomfortable, somehow i did. i unknowingly hurt others or made them uncomfortable. i do have my own personal problems but i won’t use them as an excuse. i’ve been through a lot, but it shouldn’t have changed the way i talked with others. i’m sorry.

i know i might have been rude or weird without being aware of it. but i just wanted you all to know that i appreciate you all a lot. everything has been causing me anxiety lately. i don’t know what i’m supposed to feel on social media anymore. i feel like i don’t belong anywhere anymore. irl, all my other friends are in relationships, and i’m really starting to feel that i was meant to be a lone wolf. right now, everyone’s already developed close ties when i started interacting with them.

in short, when it comes to building relationships and socializing, while some of you consider yourselves bad at doing this, i am a complete failure. i don’t know how to interact with past friends. even a hello seems awkward and like a burden. but i am afraid of hurting, of being hurt, leaving, and being left behind. and it always feels like something is going out of my control. and i am creating and maintaining the status quo of being alone. i am hoping that this will change. of course, i should be changing the way that i look at myself. but i see myself as nothing more than a problem to others, and have been for the past six or so years.

now, some of you might have offered or will offer your dms for me, and i appreciate it. it really means a lot. unfortunately, i’ve never been the type to want to rely on anyone because then, i’d feel like a burden. most of the time i’d prefer to just rely on myself instead of giving other people more problems as i know they’re busy, or i’m just not close with them. i have been so used to people spoon-feeding me, or completely leaving things to me, that asking for help is a completely foreign idea. someone like me, who is completely aware of her weaknesses, needs to learn how to rely on others. i would like to change this someday, but it’s just improbable for me to do that right now.

i have been having periods of silence where i would refuse to talk or reply to anyone for a few days at a time unless necessary. this has happened at least twice in the past month. i don’t want to feel rude or like a problem. another reason is that i don’t get that much interactions anymore. so i just don’t see any point. my lack of self-esteem aside, maybe i’m not that likable, i’m not very fun to talk to, or maybe what i make sucks or i’m just not talented enough. the algorithm has something to do with it too, i guess. all of them are good explanations.

a lot of you can understand how disheartening that must feel. personally it makes me feel inferior or unwanted. often i get told, “well, screw what they do. just continue to do your stuff!” and i will. i tell this to other people a lot. i’ll continue to draw and write. but as for small talk, i don’t know what exactly to say. there has to be a point now. i can’t say things that don’t make sense anymore.

so to the people i know on tumblr, instagram, twitter, and discord, thank you so much for being a great part of my little circle of friends. i’m going to admit i don’t keep many. i love you all so much that you’ve all made me cry with your kind words, gifts, and playlists. the music, art, writing, and advice you share. a bunch of you even met me before i turned into a legal adult, and even saw me through graduation. although i can’t recall every single thing i’ve experienced, i just wanted you all to know that i’ve been thankful for everything so far. you’re all great and amazing people. and i feel like i can’t express it enough. i am hoping that this is just another phase of me trying to break out of my shell.

there is a high likelihood of me going on an indefinite hiatus. this has happened before. all these past breaks have been half-assed and only making my emotional health worse. if i feel unwanted, then something must be wrong with me and i must change it myself. but i can’t do it while being problematic to others. it’s self-defeating. i must go on and better myself. and most of all, i’m tired of treating my depression and adhd as excuses. i’ll experience problems, but i don’t want to talk about them anymore when i could just do something.

i have logged out of my current discord because i always feel compelled to open messages and talk. i’m not forced. but i’m making myself uncomfortable.

twitter will probably be the exception (handle: swagoru_), and i will continue posting online, waaay less on tumblr. i cannot guarantee replies to messages. i’ve tried socializing but i just suck, so i’m too afraid to reply to anything. i have also put up a wordpress (check reblogs for the site) but there’s nothing in it yet. best site ever, because i won’t feel pressured or forced to interact or gain clout.

and here’s some slightly better news. please let me flex for now.

i am graduating with around/at least 11 awards bagged in total for my entire high school life (grades 9-12). some math contests and journalism stuff. and i am going on to college. 

it leaves me with just one issue: money. i am budgeting the inheritance i received from my late mother. aside from her, no one else is earning money for me. i have the support of my grandparents but i want to establish financial independence as soon as possible. i tried to apply for a job a while back but i was so busy. but i might take it this summer. for months i have been considering commissions, but it’s either i don’t have enough clout or talent to do them. my works barely get any notice so i’m deciding against it. but i am always going to try improving my art, writing, and myself. one day i will be brave enough to open commissions. i hope some of you will consider when i have my portfolio ready.

this means that i will be a lot busier preparing and improving myself. this also serves as my adjustment period from a high school student who was sheltered and completely dependent all her life to someone who is slowly being introduced into adulthood and reality.  i’m still learning how to live. i can’t let others befriend me while i’m still a mess. and most of all, even with my conditions, i don’t expect the world to adjust to me.

but when i become active here again, i hope that i’ll have the courage to speak and reply like usual. i hope to get rid of all this negativity and this shyness i must overcome.

i hope you read through everything. i’m going to miss you guys. i don’t know when i’ll be more active to talk. hopefully when we do, i will have become a better person by then.

all the love,

swagoru 💙

[rkxblue]

happy #rkfifth !

i told myself i wasn’t going 2 do this b/c ... i’m lazy bean, but here we are anyway! let’s get it!

but anyways starting off rookies was kind of like a vacation to me, rp wise. before rk i had my own rp that lasted a while but during 2013, there was just some drama between members that i constantly had 2 deal with and honestly it was like ... dragging me down, making admining seem like a chore and i loathed logging on to the main b/c i knew there would be some shit w/ these certain people that i had to deal with. so seeing rk in the tags being a different kind of idol roleplay ( and shout out rk for being a trendsetter ) /and/ the fact that reserves were filling up so quickly for a new rp, i quickly sent in a muse.

and it was a little ... idk at first. i did feel out of place considering most came from a different rp in the beginning and i wasn’t, and on top of me being v awkward w/ talking 2 people on instant messengers, there was a bit of time where i felt like i didn’t fit in and almost dropped like 2 weeks after i joined, LOL. luckily at the time a lot of things were going on which helped w/ plotting and meeting new muses, and everyone was super friendly and nice and that’s what kept me here!!!

so then rk turned from a vacation you didn’t want to leave from -- i ended up slagging off p majorly on my responsibilities as an admin at my own rp for a while because i was having such a good time at rk -- it rly brought back my love for rp and muse and tbh if you look back at rksunyoung’s archive back in 2013 - early 2014, i don’t think i’ve ever written as much on tumblr as i did back then, LOL. rk has definitely had it’s ups and downs and i’ve dropped both of my muses before -- but it wasn’t too long before i was bringing them back because there really isn’t a place like rk within krp. that, along with the dedication between both members and admins, is why it’s lasted so long and is still thriving with a super active dash after five fucking years. that’s crazy!! i think i remember mei saying something similar on twitter -- but when i see old rp friends and they ask “omg ur /still/ at rk???”

so it’s obvious to see why this rp went from feeling like a vacation to a home, right?? it’ll always have a special place in my heart  ♡

anyways moving on to my characters too -- when i first brought rksunyoung, now miss rkxblue, i never thought that she would last more than a couple of months, much less be involved with so many things within rk’s history!! it’s ... p wild to think about, especially since i’m someone that has a hard time committing to hobbies and such. it’s been a fun ride watching her go from someone who was wild and reckless and had a problem with love and a little bit of anger issues to someone whos a lot more well rounded, a soft idiot LOL. she even finally got herself the sweetest boyfriend after four years of being shipless on the rp, which i still can’t wrap my head around because denying herself love and believing that it doesn’t exist was one of her /things/ for the longest time. the list of stuff she’s done is so long and now that it’s lead to her finally debuting it’s ... scary yet exciting for her, to be honest, she thought she’d be a trainee forever!! i’ve had a lot of ups and downs with her muse as well, to the point where there was like years ( i think ) of inactivity on my end and she should have 4238972389 more points than she does atm because of that. i do feel sorry for her b/c that was just me being lazy ofc, but in the end i’ve gotten my shit together on her and have been pumping out replies p consistently this year and plotting w/ trainees which has done wonders for her muse. and although hyomin was literally /the/ perfect fc for her considering her personality, the fc change 2 yura has also helped majorly with my muse and it’s been so much easier to plot and reply and even with her characterization too.

as for miss rknvna!! she hasn’t had as much development as sun, aside from her tumultuous rls with a former song minho and being a royal trainee during her first run, and that’s mainly been due to my laziness again jfkafl;a. the good thing tho is that i’ve finally been able to experience life as a rookie with her, considering the times my girls have become trainees were v quick ( sun’s first time was like a week or two after the rp opened, then 3 months after i rejoined w/ her, and nana became a trainee only a month after she joined the first time ) so it was nice to experience the freedom that came with being a rookie!! since 2018 has been sun’s year, i’m going to focus on nana for 2019 so that she can branch out more!!

i guess before i move on i should give shoutouts to all my other rkmuses throughout the years whose lives were so short that i can’t even remember their urls LOL -- my song jieun, park kyungri, goo hara, and choi jinri muses!! i’m sure there’s at least one more that i’m forgetting, but they all lasted around 2 weeks so...

but i also want 2 thank rk for allowing me to be more social as well!! i’ve said this in the last anniversary post i wrote 25238957 years ago but i used 2 have a phobia of sorts when it came 2 instant messengers, so i didn’t rly have one when msn was popping and therefore, didn’t talk 2 many people ooc wise in rps. i made an aim when i came to rk and just ... diving in and talking to people helped out a lot with that, even if i do still get anxious from time to time w/ just simply messaging people. :(

i’m a shy individual ( and for some reason its only exacerbated online??? idk fam ) and unconsciously rather private as well, so that definitely hinders me from making friends as much as i would like to, but it’s a day by day process!! it’s something i’ve come 2 terms w/ as of late and will seriously work on within the next year! but even w/ me being the way that i am, i’ve been able 2 meet a couple of people that have made my experience in rk just a little bit brighter so a ( very brief ) shout out 2 them ~

to maria ( @rkjinkis ) : my sweet angel!!! i’m so glad that rk brought us together because you’ve honestly become one of my closest friends from this rp and in general tbh!! ur so super sweet and caring and a blessing 2 my life, just as much as jinki is to ahyoung’s!! i’m sorry that sun is too independent for her own good but she’s working on it okay!! baby steps!! i love how genuine u are and how we can rely on each other through thick and then, and honestly i want the world for u and more. i love love love LOVE u so much, and i’ll make sure u never forget it!! thank u for being my friend and my source of happiness!!!  ♡ ♡ ♡ 

to hamin ( @rksoohyun ) : despite the fact that we knew each other from snu it was rk that actually got us 2 start talking and i’m so grateful for that!! u literally are the cutest girl in the entire world and ur just as outgoing irl as u are online; seeing morning musume ( a group i thought i would never see live ) w/ u was truly a highlight in my life!!! and ofc soohyun will forever be nana’s fuckin child and she’ll always be rooting for her happiness!! i love u u sweet buttercup and i can’t wait until ur back so i can talk 2 u again!!!  ♡ ♡ ♡ 

to mei ( @rkariel ) : man i admired u for the longest b/c i’ve always loved the way u write and ur characterization of tiffany / ariel, so when years ago nick told me that u were actually paying attention to the minana plot and threads i was so shook i nearly tripped over myself LMFAO. i’m happy that we actually started talking b/c of that tho!!! it’s so easy 2 write w/ u and i honestly have so much fun regardless if we’re just talking about our characters, getting carried away on dash or twitter, or hurting each other w/ headcanons!! ariel has become nana’s rock p much and w/o her i’m not sure how she would of fared her time w/ mino w/o her and their discussions!!! i hope that we can become closer in the future!!

to razel ( @rkcheri ) : hiya boo!!! ik we don’t rly talk anymore but i still wanted 2 mention u b/c u were one of my first friends in rk when i felt kinda lonely, and that was definitely one of the reasons i was able to stick around!! i loved writing w/ u b/c ur writing style was always so unique that i could actually point u out whenever we were in past rps together and it’s an honor 2 even write w/ u fjkalf;a. i’m sorry that sun is such a shitty friend and i’m looking forward 2 the day jihyun kicks her ass about not telling her about jinki b/c she deserves it LOL. but just, thank u!!!!

to amy ( @yienrk ) : are u surprised ur on here?? HAHA we don’t talk too much either but i do appreciate u checking up on me whenever i’m down and just generally being supportive and nice!!! also i’m in awe about how knowledgeable u are about idols in general ( i remember one of our first convos being about how sixteen came 2 be and the collapse of all of jype’s trainees and such ) and i love yien and nana’s supportive relationship too!! i can’t wait 2 see how they develop, and i hope 2 get closer 2 u in the future!! ; u ;

to eclipse girls ( @rkariel , @rkaudrey , @rkhaseul , @rkjennie , @rkyeri ) sun couldn’t of asked 2 debut w/ a better group of girls and i’m so glad that they harmonize w/ each other so well!! i’m excited 2 see what debuting brings for them!!  ♡ ♡ ♡

and a shoutout 2 snu crew too ( piper / hoonji, nanu, @rksang, @rktomu, @rksoohyun , @rkjinhwan94, @rkpcy ) : even tho ik majority of u probably won’t see this i’m still tagging and talking about y’all anyway!!! i have so much fun reminiscing w/ u guys whenever we can, and i’m happy that i’ve grown closer too u all as well!! i’m sorry i was such a shit admin back in the day, and what brought y’all together was bad circumstances, but i’m glad it’s something that we can all look back on and laugh at now. i miss being together w/ all of u at once but i hope y’all are doing okay!!!!  ♡ ♡ ♡

and naturally, the admods too!!! thank u guys for putting up w/ all my shit whenever i was in a slump or i sent in points late or fucked up the points ( honestly kyle u are such an angel for real LOL ), and for just keeping the rp in tip top shape!!! ur the back bone of rk and we couldn’t of made it this far w/ each and every one of u and ur contributions and dedication 2 the rp!!! i’m super proud of u guys and am proud 2 call u my admins!!!!  ♡

and ofc shoutout 2 everyone that i’ve ever plotted and threaded w/ in the past and present -- i’m super shit at replying 2 those in general so thank u for being patient w/ me even though i don’t deserve it. i don’t know how else 2 end this b/c i’m also super shit at ending things so uh.... happy fifth year anniversary rk!!! here’s to many more!!!

[theclash]

Evens

ok here we go!!

2. Are you outgoing or shy?pretty outgoing but I tend to keep to myself by choice in like school and stuff because I usually just dont have the energy

4. Are you easy to get along with?other than like with close friends… probably not. Like I think I’m easy to get along with when it comes to ppl who dont know me but if ur at the point where you know me vaguely but arent a good friend of mine I think I’m kind of abrasive idk

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?I’ve never rly had a type when it comes to girls idk!!! all the girls I’ve been attracted to have all been rly different from eachother

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?lil wayne

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?gf!

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?oh god ummmWorld In My Eyes - Depeche Mode, Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order, Space Age Love Song - Flock Of Seagulls, Don’t Go - Yaz, ALWAYS Wild West Hero - ELO

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?hmmm… sort of?? not in a super Deep way

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?1000000 times

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?no

20. Do you like your neighbors?some of them

22. Where would you like to travel?Italy, Norway, Japan mainly, plus other places of course I just wanna see where my ancestors lived (first 2) and actually use my 5 years of Japanese class for something

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?chilling in bed for hours because thats my life. also coffee

26. What do you do when you wake up?check notifications, text gf (unless its a day I work at like 7am cuz shes usually sleep still)

28. Who are you most comfortable around?Will and Em

30. Do you ever want to get married?some day

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?what the!!!!!!!

34. Do you play sports? What sports?no pensive emoji

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?many times

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?bro do people rlly walk around with a dream image for the person they wish they could be with regardless of whether they rly exist or not

40. What do you want to do after high school?lolllll

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?probably depressed or having a borderline panic attack or something

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?oh god neither

46. What are you paranoid about?losing people, illness, injury, ppl I care about being put in danger whether its due to emotional states or the situation theyre in

48. Have you ever been drunk?no

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?grey

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?less paranoid

54. Favourite store?hi voltage

56. Favourite colour?blue, red, yellow

58. Last thing you ate?english muffin

60. Ever won a competition? For what?won a bid in engineering for a proposal to Boeing about ways to solve the water crisis

62. Been arrested? For what?tax evasion

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?LOOOOOL so Em and I were hanging out before her birthday thing later in the day and we went to the beach, we were just walking around n stuff then sat on a log and she asked if she could kiss me and I was like “yea sure” then she did but I didnt know what to do so it was like 2 seconds long and she was like “that wasnt a real kiss” hgfjkdhg very awkward sorry babe

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?no sry queens and legends

68. Twitter or Tumblr?tungle

70. Names of your bestfriends? Will, Sonny, Em (counting u as a best friend even if you are also my Gf)

72. What colour are your towels?dark grey

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?idk how many are put away but I have one (1) Stuffed Broccoli named Broccobama

76. What colour is your underwear?black

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?tillamook chocolate mudslide

80. What colour pants?none LOL

82. Favourite movie?the wall or yellow submarine

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?mean girls

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?gil or whatever the edgy fish with the scar. Duh

88. Last person you talked to today?texting Em rn but in person, my mom

90. Name a person you love?Em

92. In a fight with someone?the fucking weirdo anon about Joe Strummer I guess but like real talk no

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?like 5? idk

96. Favourite actress?Carrie Fisher :( Marilyn Monroe too

98. Do you tan a lot?no lol

100. How are you feeling?ok I guess

102. Do you regret anything from your past?yes

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?miss people I was once close to but I dont miss anyone who is completely cut from my life

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?probably not

108. What should you be doing?sleeping maybe??? idk

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?Em

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?yes

116. Are you listening to music right now?surprisingly no

118. Do you like Chinese food?i dont dislike it but its not a favorite of mine

120. Are you afraid of the dark?honestly sometimes i get on edge 

122. Is cheating ever okay?no.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?not really

126. Are you currently bored?sorta

128. Would you change your name?I wanna change it legally yeah

130. Do you like subway?yea

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?it already asked this LOL Em

134. Can you count to one million?I sure hope so?

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?closed and only closed

138. Curly or Straight hair?curly

140. Summer or Winter?summer

142. Favourite month?August

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?Dark

146. Was today a good day?6 out of 10

148. What’s your favourite quote?“It’s Gucci time” - Dee Dee Ramone/Dee Dee King

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? 42 is just a picture of MCA and 43 says “Adam served as a great example for myself and for so much of what determination, faith, focus, and humility coupled with a sense of humor can accomplish”

[moonraccoon-exe]

(1) Hi, you fluffiest raccoon on planet earth! *snuggles* So Zelda is your favorite game? I haven‘t played a single one of them sadly but my big brother lets me play Breath of the Wild soon on his switch because it really really interests me. I always saw Link in other Games like Smash Bros and all the stuff I saw around the internet made me curious. So I will definitely play Breath of the Wild soon. And about the Witcher. Well, it wouldn‘t hurt if you played the first two games first,

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASPS

PERIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDD

*TACKLES AND SNUGGLES*

PERIDOT, MY DEAR FRIEND, IT U!! ZOMG HI HELLO!!! :3

Edit: Ahahahahha, either Tumblr messed up with new settings and buttons or this extension that I added to have the old blue back but added more buttons too and I accidentally posted before answering lol

You come back after the log off protest so you can read it no worries, Peridot!! Because I may finish this but rather late for you so you go to bed, aye? Talk to you in a week! :3

(this may look like a full answer but it’s just in process buddy. Imma tell you above the keep reading when it’s finished. Gods, sorry for wrong posting hahaha!!)

PERIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

*KEEPS SNUGGLING*

You most WONDERFUL MUFFIN, I’m happy to get to be answering to you again!! How have you been? I hope you’ve been doing better regarding that other issue. It’s not easy or light so you take your time recovering and making your peace with it, aye buddy? I’m still sending you my good vibes and wishes, standing with you even if only from far away. You can do it, buddy. Take your time. *pets you*

And yes, Zelda must be my fave! Sometimes I feel shy saying it because there’s always the idiot that says that if you haven’t played all the games in the franchise you’re not a fan and that’s stupid to me lol. But yeh, I really love all the Zelda universe aksljdfadlkjg :3

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASPS

YOU GET TO PLAY BREATH OF THE WILD?!?!!?

I WOULD INSERT THE GIF OF THE HYSTERICAL BIRD SCREECHING BUT KEEP READING DOESN’T WORK IN MOBILE AND I DON’T WANT TO SPAM OTHER’S DASHBOARDS EVEN MORE I JUST KALSDJ FLKDGJ ALKDJA

*FREAKS OUT* *FLIPS THE DESK* *FLIPS THE WHOLE GALAXY*

*SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK*

YOUR BRO HAS A SWITCH AND HE HAS BREATH OF THE WILD AND YOU GET TO PLAY IT!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PERIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT LKASJDFKLGD KLJADJ ADLKGJA KLGJEOIJ DLKGADKLG ADJLKJAF

*DIES AND ASCENDS TO THE HEAVENS*

OH MY GOD PERIDOT, BREATH OF THE WILD IS LIKE A REVOLUTIONARY ZELDA, I HAVEN’T GOTTEN TO PLAY IT BECAUSE THE SWITCH IS SO EXPENSIVE OVER HERE AND MY FAM’S NOT IN CONDITIONS TO GET ONE AND EVER SINCE BOTW HAS BEEN OUT I’VE BEEN A WHINY SQUEAKY MESS BECAUSE HOLY SHIT IT LOOKS FANTASTIC, IT LOOK NUTS, IT LOOKS OTHERWORLD AND IT’S APPARENTLY GOING TO HISTORY AS ONE OF TH EBEST ZELDA (either that or I personally just got too excited lol) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

YOU GET TO PLAY BOTW AKSLDJFKLADJGKDALJG AZOMYGUFKCINGGOD PERIDOT ENJOY IT WHOLEHEARTEDLY AND IMMENSELY!!!!!!!!!!! ZOMG ZOMG I’M SO EXCITED AND HYPED AND OH MY GAWD YOU GET TO PLAY BOTW KALSJDF GDKLDAJKADLGJ KLA DKLDGJDAG KLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I HOPE YOU GET TO PLAY IT SOON AND THAT YOU HAVE A BLAST AND A PHENOMENAL AND THE MOST FANTASTIC TIME PLAYING IT, PERIDOT, BUDDY!!!!!!!!!!

Link is one of my absolute FAVES and babies and I protecc. I think that you’ll like him and the games. Did you know his name is Link because when they were planning the first games, the creator wanted you to see yourself reflected in the character? So that’s why he has no voice (other than his yelps and yells) and is mostly named ‘Link’, because he’s supposed to be a link between the player and the game, it’s supposed to be someone you channel yourself into even if just slightly. Also explains a bit of his physical looks; they say they wanted Link to look like a girl with boy attributes or like a boy with feminine attributes so anyone could feel related to him :3

BUT ENOUGH OF MY RANT, it’s just my love for this boy and everything of the Zelda universe is MY LOVE KLASDJKLADGJ 

Ooooooh, I see what you mean with the whole thing about the Witcher and whether I need to play the first 2 first. I’m catching that it’s sorta like Dragon Age? Like, there’s a kaload of books and info and the other 2 games that come first, but I’m not missing anything like...I can make sense to it. Still, however, it would be more...rich if I could play the first 2 games. I’d understand the story and the lore better, I’d have a better comprehension of the world and the history, and I’d know characters better and deeper.

Still, playing straight from the 3rd game is fine. I’m just missing things in that sort of way but it’s understandable and fine. That’s how I catch it, at least! :)

Well, if that’s the case, I may give a thought to getting the Witcher 3 one day. I do have heard it’s like a classic or a very dear game to many, many people, so I sure should try it out. Thanks for filling me in on whether it was fine to play the third alone or not!! Imma search for the books, as well. Reading is quite a passion for me and if I can complement reading with gaming...gawds, that sounds like HEAVEN

GASPS

I didn’t know Geralt had a daughter!!!!!!!! :O THAT MAKES THE STORY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH MORE INTERESTING AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

One of the many reasons I’m so intimate with XV is that it’s got a deep and intimate deal with father-son subjects, which makes me sort of weak. And knowing this about the Witcher makes it even more interesting!! Because it sounds like such a complex character with a complex purpose. One looks at him and it’s easy to think that he’s just a tough guy that, I don’t know, is a mercenary and looks for prizes and fame or something, or like he’s defending his dead wife’s memory and taking revenge, something savage and brutal like a Tough Guy, you know?

But the fact that he’s actually looking for his daughter? FUCK, THIS FUCKS ME UP INT HE BEST WAY POSSIBLE *SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK*

I’m SO in love with storyes that don’t revolve around romance. Like, side romance is FANTASTIC, but when it’s like....the center itself, the core? BORING. But family or friend bonds? Siblings? F A T H E R  A N D  D A U G H T E R???????

SHIT FAM SIGN ME IN WHY THE HELL AM I NOT PLAYING THIS GAME RIGHT NOW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AKLJSFGK DL JADKLGJDAKLGAJDH ADKLGJALKHJ FAHKLFAJLKDF ADKLGHJ ADHLKA

*CRIES*

PERFECT. BRILLIANT. There’s no better character arc/construnction than that of a tough guy fighting for the reasons that can come off as “not rough”. Looking for a daughter is SAVAGE AND BRUTAL AF but it’s not that common ya know. It’s usually revenge,t he love of his life, or something like that. But a tough guy looking for his baby girl? YAS. FAHK. I NEED I NEED I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

*THROWS A TANTRUM AND DOES GRABBY HANDS*

Hahaha, don’t worry about ranting to me about the game!! I understand your joy and excitement, and it’s okay to keep talking about it. It DOES sound like a PHENOMENAL game so of course you’d love to talk more and more about it!! :D

[musicallisto]

OK BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE i opened tumblr on my laptop and DAAAAAAMN UR THEME IS JUST BEYOND PERFECTION BOTH ON DESKTOP AND MOBILE WHAT IS THIS AND HOW?!?-?-??-!-

this is exactly why i prefer solo work over group works wym gRouP why am i doing all the work then 🙄

PLS it’s more of like a mini hang out but i like how you call it tho :’) actually i’m keeping it a secret from my mom for now so we had to go off mic cos she was gettin suspicious hHABSBAHAJA like whenever she came in she’d be all “why r u so shocked” 😭

but we were chattin about the movie the entire time he was all like “why did i watch this just now”

we’ve actually watched loads of movies even way before he confessed!! he just got me to watch marvel n omfg it’s so mf good i’m about to watch guardians of the galaxy next and i might get into the spiderverse soon as well. it’s so cute when he gets excited abt marvel pls 😭🤞🏻 and i got him to watch b99 now we got peraltiago as our discord pfp :’)

which by the way have I mentioned that Coco is one of my absolute favorite movies of ALL TIME and I bawl my eyes out every time I watch it because I feel like I should mention that.

yep glad u mentioned and BAE I DON’T BLAME U IT’S LITERALLY THE BEST also ✨fuck you ernesto✨

RIGHT i just had to lay low and just log in to collect diamonds for a while cos of classes but imma get back to it. JDNFHEIW I actually had Choices back when it was recently released while I was still an Episode girl 😭 episode shitty now pls i’m sorry, the user stories are so much better. Choices only had like Endless Summer back then and the classics so I got to try that in my old phone but ion rlly remember much so I’ll def reread it ;))

i finished the haunting of braidwood manor back then and some more (like half of It Lives and the High School Story or maybe the Freshman idk) but i lost interest cos i didn’t know how to farm for diamonds yet (but now i’m just farming at home for the holidays cos wtf is it even) I’ll also definitely keep your suggestions in mind pls I got Elementalists next on my list 😌✨

yep i totally get it dw the friendzone part still gets me :’) but i’m glad it all worked out!!

I'm glad I confessed, though, because it's the most romantically vulnerable I've ever been with someone and that confession required a great deal of courage, but I proved to myself I could do it!

DAMN YOU HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS that’s so sweet pls 😔 it really is kinda refreshing to confess!! + hoping that the next time you confess, they’d return the same energy (no actually scratch that they better return MORE cos you deserve that much)

anyway the tea will be coming from you majorly from now on I'm afraid. but if any cute guy catches my attention you will be the first to know, of course ;)

nah nah cos i love this sm i am beyond honored- U BETTER TELL OK HABAHHAAHAHSHAHA because…duh 😐

also i miss chatting w u sm i hope u r doing great :*

* ˚ ✦ shut up shut up Ves have you seen your theme?? it's literally drop dead gorgeous like how!! you are one of my main inspirations when it comes to themes... everything is always so put together and beautiful and!!! miss, I'm in love. that's all. but thank you so much it means the world especially coming from you <3

you guys are so cute omg I might just die. I want, no, need what you two have 😭 matching peraltiago discord profile pictures oh my GOD!!!! no one is doing it like you I just-- heart eyes emoji for days. please keep me updated on everything and for the love of god tell me what he thinks about Coco because if he doesn't like the movie then,,,, I'm afraid that by the powers invested in me by the Goddess of Wingwomen, he can't be The One. and yes absolutely fuck Ernesto & Héctor has all my love. Gael Garcia Bernal is just <3

not you making me want to replay Choices... I thought my days of suffering had ended for good but now I'm kinda tempted to go back and replay The Elementalists as well because it's one of my absolute favorites. I haven't played book 2 but book 1 was so cool, and now I miss it! and please afjbjbscsvhj not the Episode girl 😭😭 I remember you telling me in an ask that you used to play the Demi Lovato path to fame game and GIRL I WAS OBSESSED like I would play religiously in 6th grade it's not even funny😭

and thanks for being proud of me, and I hope the universe learns its lesson and sends a cutie my way - who will actually reciprocate my feelings this time - sometime soon <3